Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
