Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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