Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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