oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That's when you crack a 10am beer
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize