That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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