i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
