I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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