Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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