I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
