bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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