Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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