I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
