Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize