i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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