Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
