C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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