my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
