it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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