I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
