Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
