genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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