How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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