nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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