I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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