I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
