At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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