Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
