Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
