You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
