you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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