i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
