ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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