Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
