Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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