He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I touched a dick in church today
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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