Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
