i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
