he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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