I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
