i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
