what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
