I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
