I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
now i know why i became what i already was.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
