Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
