did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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