my sisters under your porch take her home
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Someone came in the potted fern
Randomize
