So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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