return my video game
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
