Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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