so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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