i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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