If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I smell like Dick and happiness
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