Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
