Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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