My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She announced her abortion via fbk
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
