someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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