She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
