Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
