we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
