Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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