So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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