Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
